Sickness

Todays blog is dedicated to Vincent Chiang.
I mean.. fucking what did I ever do to you.. except break your sword (OOO SUGGESTIVE, AM I RIGHT?), give you shit about being asian.. and you know.. so here goes nothing.

SO IM SICK. YAY.
I sound like a dying fkn cat right now.. like no joke.. if you shoved hundreds upon hundreds of feline critters down my throat, I'd be sounding like this right now.

I would like to thank Vincent Chiang for this wonderful, wonderful virus.

Give it up for him guys, because you know what?
IM GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU SOON. JUST YOU WAIT BOY. JUST YOU WAIT.
D:<

LOOK HOW SAD IT IS

I looked at that for a while.. and realised it looked kinda like the vagina growing on Vincent's head

ALRIGHT, I admit you can't see it here, he's a bit hair.. down, er no "up" there. So we can't make any Tasmania jokes. Trim your.. palm trees? I DONT KNOW.

So let me describe to you my symptoms. HURAY

well it all started off with a sore throat.
Like, the feeling you get when someone has gotten a tractor(I'm going to assume it is an extremely minuscule one, like.. extremely tiny), tied some barbed wires around it's wheels and then drove it down the inside of my throat.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

It's awesome because it then developed into a nagging cough, which then turned into a full blown bulldog bark. You know the sound, I blogged about it a while ago. Yeah that kath chick... yeah "AHOO" yeah thats it. Wait, Lo and behold, It's actually ten times worse. It sounds as if im going "Aho-" but then it cuts into a "AHOO-VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" god damn fkn tractors.

Well what else do I have? Oh yeah I feel cold, every-god-damned-second-of-the-god-damned-day. My piss is probably frozen icesticks now. You know what? I'd probably be pissing out little seals the next second fkn

You might think "aww", but you wouldn't be if you know what it was actually covered in.. or where it came from.

And god damnit, i was so cold in fact.. today i walked around in thermals, pyjamas, school jumper, coat and a fucking blanket and all next to a god damned fucking heater.
FUCKING FUCK NUTS FUCK FUCK FUCK
If i coughed, I'd probably send out sticks of frozen phlegm -

Oh wait, I haven't mentioned the phlegm have I?
You know phelgm, a composition of mucus and perhaps a varying lot of nasties.. yeah? yeah. So anyway, as the old asian teaching goes (MY MUM IS ASIAN, SHE TELLS ME THIS SHIT. I DONT NEED YOUR MEDICAL MUMBO JUMBO) if it's yellow and fluro.. you're in deep doo doo or frozen pee flavoured seal pops.
Mines fucking.. brownish yellow. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

IM SO VERY ANNOYED.

My back is killing me, My entire body aches like a shit cunt and worst of all I'm going to sleep at about 9pm and waking up with a migraine. THANKS A WHOLE BUNCH VINCENT. FUCK YOU. FUCK MY IMMUNE SYSTEM.