In my dreams,

and by dreams I mean nightmares, I can only see mounds and mounds of unwashed dishes. As you guys may or not know since I very subtly hinted at this in my last post, I have a new job! At a new sushi place! Except due to exceptional circumstances I got relocated to a French restaurant nearby, and so all the cool stuff I was doing before no longer applies. I was going to tell you guys about how awesome it is peeling eggs from the inside, but I guess that'll have to wait (sorry Ying/OJ/everyone else who wanted to see them-it pains me to  disappoint my readers. But all in good time). All I do now is scrub dishes, pots, pans and bowls of all shapes and sizes.

So I'm sure you'll know I ended up washing dishes for eleven (11!) hours straight, from 2pm to 1am that one fateful saturday evening. Needless to say, by the time I finished there were no trams running, and thank god I live in the city, or would've been like one of the guys at work:

"Oh crap...missed my train. Guess I'll just work till morning then."-Dude at work.

The place I work at is called Heirloom for anyone interested. No it's not the sushi place I originally worked at, but it's pretty chill (apart from the endless stream of dishes), the waiters bring me coke and sprite every now and then, and the sous chef makes basically whatever he wants for the staff when he's not busy cooking orders.

Let me tell you a little bit about the actual dish scrubbing process-washing them for eleven hours on end has made me a part time expert in these matters. Dish scrubbing is a well defined process-it consists of: 

-get dirty dish from kitchen

-put into dishwashing water (the hot soapy kind)

-give it a good scrubbin' yadda yadda yadda.

Main point I want to get to is, after washing many a dish one starts to notice the myriad of possible flavours of dishwashing water that becomes possible. Now ideally this post would have some pictures to show you exactly what I mean, but for obvious reasons that it takes too much effort, coloured text will just have to do.

Standard

Dishwashing strength: 5/5

Flavour: Depends on your detergent

How to make: Just add detergent

Comments: The base washing liquid-every other washing liquid starts here. Nothing fancy.

Sweet:

Chocolate

Dishwashing strength:3/5

Flavour: Like chocolate! The smell dissipates after you mix it, though I'd advise against tasting it.

How to make:When you get enough chocolate sauce in the sink.

Comments: The stuff is probably better before you turn it into dishwashing water, though it's not too unpleasant and doesn't detract from the washing ability much

Caramel

Dishwashing strength:4/5

Flavour:Caramel! Very strong sugary scent, depending on how badly burnt the sugar was

How to make:Add enough caramel encrusted pots into the mix

Comments:Very pleasant washing water to work with-nice smell, solid anti-grease performance and not too ugly to look at either.

Mint

Dishwashing strength:4/5

Flavour: Fresh Minty scent.

How to make: Anything with mint in it:ice cream, sauce, the leaves themselves

Comments: See caramel above, replace with mint. Odour isn't as strong though.

Cranberry

Dishwashing strength:2.5/5

Flavour:Little scent, though probably tastes like cranberry.

How to make: Add cranberries, juice, sauce.

Comments:Not something that's too healthy for the plates, colour is too dark for you to see anything, dyes the plates, and the little bits of cranberry doesn't help when you're trying to empty the sink.

Savoury:

Teriyaki

Dishwashing strength:3/5

Flavour: Very strong teriyaki smell.

How to make:Pots/pans/dishes with teriyaki in it

Comments: An alright dishwasher with a good aroma, even if the water gets too cloudy to see anything.

Deep fried chicken

Dishwashing strength:2/5

Flavour: Highly appetizing cripsy chicken smell! Though I would probably stay very far away from tasting it.

How to make:Scrub the pots/pans they bake/fry the chicken in

Comments:Smells awesome, but the bits of chicken and fat make cleaning future dishes very hard. Consider doing all the fried chicken pans at once

Beetroot

Dishwashing strength:4/5

Flavour: Pretty much unscented...beetroot doesn't have that much of a smell.

How to make:The smallest bit of beetroot/beetroot juice will do.

Comments:This only gets one because the smallest bit of beetroot turns your entire dishwashing experience a deep, deep purple.

Mayonnaise

Dishwashing strength:1/5

Flavour:No smell. Probably tastes like mayo.

How to make:When you clean the mayonnaise tubs/buckets

Comments: While dishwashing water easily cleans out the mayo, it does exactly that: fills the sink with mayo so that all future dishes will be slathered in slobs of mayo. Rinse seperately if possible, as it's a huge drain of productivity.

Soup

Dishwashing strength: 0/5

Flavour: It's an actual...sink full of soup. With added detergent goodness

How to make: If you're unlucky enough to actually have to wash unfinished meals, the waiter forgets to empty the contents into the bin, and some idiot puts unfinished soup bowl straight into your sink instead of emptying it down the drain first.

Comments: Don't expect to wash anything with this. It's probably edible, minus the soap of course. And good luck emptying the sink-the endless veges will have the drain clogged for hours.

I was planning to do like, combinations and mixes and stuff but this has already turned out into a monster post. And now I'm off to camp with them monash kids for half a week, then scrub more dishes for the rest of the week. Here's a shout out to Alice for having me over on her birthday! And yes that was what I ditched your party to do.

Now for our daily smartass remark:

Hungy:"So...how does the GPA actually get calculated? It's a number between 1-5 right?"

Lucy:"Well calculate average first, and it converts to GPA."

Hungy:"Yeah..how exactly?"

Lucy:"Calculate average first? Then google."

Best advice. Ever.

Also nearly lost this post due to a snafu. Thank god for having brains.